Love Me Tender
I’ve got a bunch of fun Valentine’s ideas to share with you all over the next couple of weeks, but I thought I’d kick things off with a slightly saucy post (by CGG standards anyway) – gift ideas with a cheeky or naughty twist to put the spice into your Valentine’s weekend. I like these ideas because instead of splurging on a piece of jewelry (although I’d never say no to that), you’re being a little silly and a little alluring at the same time. So, onwards with ONE caveat: there’s some lingo here that if you’re a little sensitive, you might find offensive. Just know it’s all in good fun kids.
Outlandish Teacups – $89 @ Generate
What looks prim & proper but is actually saucier than the saucer it sits on? These ridiculous teacups & saucers with extremely cheeky messages paired with classic feminine teacup designs (well, maybe not the donkey so much). Lady Gaga has been snapped with her own ‘Whore’ cup, elevating this tongue-in-cheek teacup collection to A-list status. Maybe you want to give it to a recently divorced gal pal as a sign of girl power (even when she’s sobbing into her brew), or maybe you’ve got an emotionally abusive relationship and want to share it with the world (I jest!) Either way, these are hilarious in their own special way.
Kissable Honey Massage Gel in Luscious Honey – $15 @ Victoria’s Secret
Girllllll. This is the type of stuff you’d pay hundreds of bucks for at the spa, and let’s be honest, isn’t it so much more fun when you’re getting a relaxing rub from your special someone? This massage gel has the consistency and taste of a jar of honey – but not the sticky mess. Use the included wooden wand to drizzle it onto whatever body part needs some unwinding, and feel free to snag any free drops with a sweet-as-sugar kiss (or two). A fresh take on the chocolate body paint concept if I ever saw one.
S.E.C.R.E.T. by L. Marie Adeline – $18 (list)
After the runaway success of E.L. James’ 50 Shades trilogy, there was bound to be an explosion of erotic fiction for women. Please forgive if that sentence came out remotely dirty. Anyway, L. Marie Adeline’s new series outright pays tribute to James for bringing sex-centred stories into the mainstream, as she tries her hand at writing about wild fantasies for the first time in her own writing career (it’s a pen name, PS). The story centres around a lonely waitress living in New Orleans named Cassie, who is inducted into a secret society of women that arrange for her to have mind-blowing sex with smokin’ hot guys that know their way around the bedroom – helping her to both realize her fantasies and start to regain her confidence. Although the book hasn’t quite hit the shelves yet, it will be available for pick-up prior to this Valentine’s Day, making it an apt choice for a new mom looking for some inspiration for baby #2, or for a single gal pal that loves a raunchy read every now and again. But hear this – despite being inspired by E.L. James, the book does aim to create characters with more dimension, and truth be told, a better writing style across the board. Look out for Book #2 this fall!
Handcuff Bracelets – $62 @ Incoqnito
Jewelry that doubles as fun in the bedroom? Sounds like a cheeky gift idea. These genuine leather cuffs may appear like tough wrist accoutrements on the outside, but when you wear ‘em on date night, your guy will know what you’ve got in mind. Available in a few different finishes, this is a risque choice for the more adventurous types out there – fair warning that this probably isn’t the right pick if you’ve just stepped into a fresh new relationship (unless you know, you already know that sort of thing about your new mate). Incoqnito doesn’t have an official international shipping policy, but simply contact them for a quote to get your cuffs discreetly shipped to your door.
Cheeky Monkey Nail Polishes – $15 each
I find pretty much everything about the Cheeky Monkey brand amazing. Their tongue-in-cheek polish colours speak volumes already, but add to that the snapshot sex stories that go with each colour and you’ve got a proud-to-be-brassy brand that eschews assumptions that all us Canadian gals are, ahem, polite. Mix in a very fun website – complete with drink recipes to go with each colour and the opportunity to submit your own racy stories – plus a sensational colour library, a three-free formula devoid of all that nasty stuff like formaldehyde, and great nationwide availability (plus a not-too-shabby shipping policy) and this may well be my new favourite Canadian brand. How fun would this be to tuck into your guest’s goodie bags at a stagette this spring? Or to gift your single gal pals as you hit the town looking for that next great romance (or one night stand)? Really, you can even just pick up a bottle or two for yourself and tantalize your partner with the promise of whatever the shade is called. Rawr!
Phew! If you’re feeling a little hot & bothered after that post, I’ve got just the prize to get your heart racing: I’m giving away five nail polishes from Cheeky Monkey and five copies of S.E.C.R.E.T. to five lucky winners, all in the spirit of giving a new definition to ‘getting lucky’. Here’s how to win:
1) Leave a comment by February 11th with your favourite sensual gift idea featured on this list + the Cheeky Monkey colour you’d most like to try.
2) Entries are limited to one per person / per email address / per household (or more if you score bonus entries). A random draw will be conducted on or around February 1st to select the winners, who will have 48 hours to respond before another winner is chosen in their place.
3) Entries are limited to Canadians that have reached the age of majority in their province. Quebec is not eligible to participate in this promotion.
4) Bonus Entry: Like Cheeky Monkey on Facebook and leave ‘em a comment to earn a bonus entry! Be sure to leave your FB username in the comments below so I can credit your entry.
5) Add S.E.C.R.E.T. to your ‘To-Read’ list on GoodReads.com and throw me a link to it on the comments below.